Friends Party

I remember this particular gathering of folks getting together for about 10 years now to celebrate the holidays. It was at this particular "friends dinner" that I practiced telling people that I was pregnant (while single) in December of 1999. I found a very supportive crowd with these folks I've know since some point in the 80's. Sometimes we'd meet for the dinner in early December. Sometimes we'd meet in late December. Last year when we hosted, the group decided that the Sunday of MLK Jr. weekend was the perfect time for our holiday dinner because the kids don't have school the next day and at this point we comprise a four-city-four-couple group so factoring in the bedtime/drive time is important. Also, most of us have the next day off work allowing for clean up time for the hosts.

Last year we added a spring trip to the mix which included Lucas, Hays and Wilson Kansas - a trip without the sum of six children. One member of the group noted that in each couple there is a graduate of Baker University, which is a strange way to categorize the lot. None of the Baker grads have any particular lingering affiliation or pride in the source of our undergraduate degrees. The opposite might be true since most of us were Greek, which seems out of character (embarrassing) now, and the school is CONSERVATIVE. I remember when William F. Buckley Jr. came to speak at the school when I was a sophomore and we were required to attend as part of some class I was taking.

The dinner was in full swing last night and was hosted in Lawrence, one of the coolest cities in the world. We all ooooed and awed about the wonderful creative home of the hosts, ever changing as the needs of their family grows. They have bunk beds with a slide, a Star Wars themed bath room, two fire places, a new addition for their son's room in what used to be the north end of the front porch, and a new bathroom, more of a WC, which reminds one of a scene out of Willy Wonka. It is all awesome. Including the camper out back. It is a Shasta and all retro and cool. It puts our camper to shame. Also our hosts last night instituted a new theme of an ugly sweater contest. It was fun to go on a sweater quest to find some for the whole family. I actually like my husband's sweater quite a bit. It's yellow an retro, kind of Dean Martinish.

For years I was the single girls at these events, or the one with the weirdo boyfriend. All of the other couples have worked through things for many years either in wedded bliss or coupled or both. For the last few years, I've been settled, and my comical romance days are over. It was a sign to me that my first husband wasn't right for me. He refused to attend this particular event that meant so much to me. It wasn't long after that - he was history. That incident wasn't the only deal breaker, but a sign of just how different we were.

I was so happy last night that as he was falling asleep my best greatest love said to me, "I really had fun tonight". He and I hosted this event last year and he attended the year before, but now he's meshed with this group and "gets it" about how fun and random and supportive and connected in various ways we all are. When I refer to the friends party it is the perfect name, this group maintains traditions, makes new ones, and keeps the faith that there are people with long-time roots who have grown in similar directions and that keeps us coming back for more.