All sorts of outta sorts

For the first time in over a year I had the house to myself last night. My son was with his dad for his weekly two night stay and this coincided with the impromptu trip that my husband needed to make home to Chicago. He went there to visit his 99 year old grandma who is mentally 100 percent sharp, but her health is failing. Apparently since our fun visit with her at Thanksgiving she has lost her ability to eat and drink well on her own. She has made the decision to forgo the option of a feeding tube, ever the pragmatic proper lady. She knows the quality of her life is indeed as treasured as much as the long number of years she has been the beloved figurehead of their family.

I feel so fortunate that the boys and I were able to get to know this wonderful grandma and have the time with her that we did. For Christmas this year we received a package from her with red hand-knitted stocking hats for the boys. One had had a red tassel and one a white. Grandma included a note,"I made these for the boys and knitted every stitch myself!" At 99. Wow.

My Best Greatest Love has been under the weather this week in addition to the news of the downward turn in this wonderful woman's health and his all night bus-ride to reach her. He is usually pretty stoic, but was visibly shaken at the thought that this may be the last time he gets to visit Grandma. He's a realist, though, and knows that he is so fortunate to have known her for so long and to have a role model in generosity and playfulness such as she. He said it is kinda hard to be mad that she is winding down. She is 99, after all, but so beloved and lucid that nobody can bear the thought that it is ok to let her go.

It was hard to let my son go on Saturday. Having time with just him all weekend would have been nice, but his dad is a good dad and had been on some travels of his own for work. Sharing him well, that's the deal. I could barely hold back the tears until I'd pulled away on Saturday morning feeling the sense of loss from having family sadness going on and my little boy and my big strong husband far away.

So, I decided to pull it together and distract myself. After all, it isn't often that I have time to myself and the house to myself, right?

This is how I kept busy:

Went shopping at a large discount store in nearby city and lingered for over an hour. Found good bargains for home and friends.

Returned a lost notebook to a friend at her work.

Hung out at another friends house while she folded laundry. Scored about 40 new songs from her collection!

Added new songs to my ipod.

Took a bubble bath.

Fed the chickens. And petted them and talked to them.

Drove to Kansas City to meet three friends for a show.

Dropped off an item of my son's at his dad's that he'd forgotten. Just leave it on the porch. Don't disturb their time, but almost cry because you miss him so much.

Call friends to hook up at the show -but they say first a quick beer in a dive bar!

The show was great!

Stayed an hour later than expected.

Drove home talking to Best Greatest Love and listening to new songs.

Attended early church with a friend and had coffee and dish after.

Met friends for a birthday brunch that lasted a couple of hours.

Tried to help another friend move stuff into storage. Missed her. Left storage bins (purchased at discount store)

Came home and crawl into bed. Had small cry.

Worked on son's MP3 player as was my homework from him.

Caledl him to talk to him and tell him. (feel better!)

Wrote this blog.

Have plans to have dinner with another girlfriend who is a wonderful cook at 6pm.

I will wait around and kiss my sweet son before school tomorrow and then drive to pick up my husband from the bus stop. All will be well by tomorrow night when we can settle in for the night, with family reunited and talk about how we are so lucky to have each other. We'll talk about the sad stuff, but in person which will make it so much easier.